I have a dream… a big dream. I also have a fear… a big fear. But, let’s start with the dream!!
My dream is to own a space where people from all over the world can come to be refreshed and rejuvenated, but most of all, restored. Welcome to…
Restoration Bed & Breakfast
restoring that which is lost, unwanted, and forgotten
You guys, I dream about this place all the time. Last night I was up past midnight just lying awake imagining all the wonderful things about this home. It will be an old style home (either farm house or Victorian) with a huge front and back porch. It will be by the water. The water is so cleansing!! It will have five rooms for guests, a quaint little sun room, an elegant staircase, a spacious dining room, and a state of the art kitchen. And lastly, it will have a spacious backyard that overlooks the expanse of the ocean where you can sit and watch the tide come in and the sun set.
I can’t wait to decorate every inch of this incredible home! I love taking old and unwanted items and restoring them to their once beautiful selves.
I want this place to be used by my family for reunions or quiet escapes from reality. I want friends to use this place to dream, and create, and reflect. Now, I know, this sounds like a dream… no, like an unrealistic ideal of a business, but I cannot get this beautiful dream out of my heart. If you have known me for any amount of time over the last six months, you will know that I have been pursing a career with Chick-fil-A. I love this company and stand whole heartedly behind their mission and purpose. The more I have pursed this career though, the more I have realized – I am not built for fast food. As much as I love CFA and every part of me fits their mission, my heart longs for a slower paced business. I have always known I would own my own business in some regard and for the last several months I truly believed that would be owning my own CFA store. But when the realization hit me that I was not created to push cars through drive-thru at 30 second intervals, I knew that I would absolutely own my own business it would just be one that has been tucked away in my heart for many years and not CFA.
Ever since college, I have had this crazy idea of one day... maybe... possibly owning my own café or bakery or B&B, but it always felt like this crazy idea. I never thought I would actual make this dream a goal! Which, in the words of Rachel Hollis, is, “a dream with it’s work boots on”. I love this imagery! My dream finally has feet and not only that, feet with steel-toed boots on, ready to work until this dream is a reality!
Now onto my big fear… a fear of failure.… You know what, I just wrote out an entire paragraph about failure and then deleted it… and I don’t believe failure is what my fear is… my fear is I am not or don’t have enough. I fear I don’t have enough knowledge for this dream. I don’t have enough money for this dream. I am not persistent enough for this dream. I am not career oriented enough for this dream. Yes… THAT is my fear. You know what, to hell with that fear! Satan can have it back! I AM enough! This dream was not placed in my heart from my own mind, this dream was placed in my heart by the Creator of the universe who is and always will be MORE than enough! He is my source of strength and money and resources and persistence! “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called!” Amen!
Wow, this post became way more passionate than I had planned it to be, but I am perfectly ok with that. Writing always helps my heart dream, plan, and prepare. Writing helps me process what my mind is telling my heart. Now, putting my heart's thinking out in the world… that can be a little frightening. I was listening to a podcast today that said, ‘be brave enough to put something out into the universe that could possible be critiqued’. We will never know where our words and dreams will go if we never let the world have them. I am so thankful for those of you that read what I write. I know I have just a small following, but that doesn’t even matter, because if just one person reads my writing and is inspired or encouraged, than I am happy.
One day soon I will have my beloved Bed and Breakfast and you all will be the first to know about it! I love you all dearly!
Live fearlessly my darlings!
I am a broken vase. I’ve messed up. I’ve sinned. I’ve broken the law. I’ve given parts of myself away that I will never get back. I have seasons of my testimony that are uncomfortable to talk about and I’m ashamed to share. Showing all of me is like showing someone a shattered vase.
Some pieces of me are too small to even try to put back together. Some pieces are so sharp that if you were to pick them up, they would cut you. All of these broken pieces used to hold the most beautiful flowers, and now they are strewn across the floor with the broken glass.
Isn’t this how we see ourselves sometimes? The parts that cut us should be thrown away and the pieces almost too small to see should just be swept under the rug?
He looks at all the pieces lying there on the floor and He says, ‘I want ALL of you. All of the tiny pieces that you feel are insignificant. All of the pieces that have cut you and others. I want to and WILL put you back together again – whole and faultless.’ He picks up all of me and puts me back together and once again I am reminded that every decision I have ever made, He will use for good and His glory. He needs ALL of me – past, present, and future – to be able to use me to hold the beautiful flowers of life. The radiant roses of love for all mankind. The joyful daisies of giving to and serving the least of these. And the delicate and sweet baby's breath of grace and forgiveness.
Yes, sometimes we break, but we were never meant to stay broken. And yes, we will break more than once, but God in His perfect love will pick us back up and put us back together over and over and over again. Sister, if you feel as though your pieces are too small or too sharp to put back together, stop trying to do it on your own and allow the Master Creator to put you back together. Being remade by His hands brings new life and it will leave you feeling full, beautiful, and so dearly loved.
In this holiday season, may we remember that we are all broken vases in need of restoration by a gracious and loving Heavenly Father. Let Him heal and restore you so that you may be filled with the most beautiful bouquet you have ever seen!
Happy Holidays, dear Sisters, and stay fearless my wanderers!
Your Fearless Wanderer
On June 25th, I wrote the vow I put in my last post, the one about vowing to be authentically me. Since writing that vow down in my journal, I have truly become more authentically me. Each day I have a million opportunities to either give in to those around me and the pressures to fit in, or to choose to be me; to stand up for what I believe in and to be confident in my journey.
The other night while I was journaling, I wrote this –
“Own Your Journey! You’re the only one living your life. You’re the only one that gets to decide how your circumstances are going to affect you. Life is hard enough as it is, why would we make it even harder on ourselves by letting life’s trials and bad decisions knock us down and steal our joy?”
If I have learned one thing this summer its this – be proud of who you are and where you have come from. Every decision you have ever made, whether it was good or bad, right or wrong, has shaped you into the person you are today! Be proud of that person! She is beautiful! She is strong! She is resilient! She is enough! I had the opportunity on several occasions this summer to sit and talk for hours with people I had just met. We talked about everything. Religion. Politics. Relationships. Family. Careers. You name it, we talked about it, and you know what I found? I was able to be fully me with them and in return, fully loved while being fully known. Sometimes I feel like we get stuck in ruts in our communities and all of a sudden we wake up one day and realize that we haven’t been fully honest in a very long time. We’ve been saying the same things over and over again and, in my case, saying everything I knew would please those around me. This summer, no one knew anything about me prior to me telling them about myself and every time I would share my heart with them, they always ended the conversation with telling me how glad they were to have met me and how amazing my journey is! This is not a boast to me at all! It’s a boast to honesty! True honesty! All of our journeys are different. All of our journeys have mistakes in them. All of our journeys have moments that feel too ugly to share. But all of our journeys are beautiful if we truly embrace all of the twists and turns and see that each road led us to where we are today. My journey is far from over! And each day I am thankful that I get another day on this journey called life.
If there was another lesson I learned this summer, it’d be this – we were not meant to journey alone. The Lord brings people into our lives for a reason. Sometimes it takes years before we see why He allowed certain people into our lives, but I believe that every encounter we have with another human being is God ordained and there is something to be given and received in each interaction. Whether that interaction is 2 seconds or 20 years, there is beauty in every human relationship we get to be a part of!
My beautiful and resilient fearless wanderers, be fearless in your journey. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. Will everyone always think your journey is amazing? No. But with honesty comes vulnerability and with vulnerability comes the ability to grow. To become more confidently you. To become more authentically you. Don’t be scared to be who you were created to be! Speak truth over yourself and remember – You are strong. You are brave. You are beautiful. You are enough!
Why can’t I actually write down my feelings? Why can’t I be 100% honest? I know I’m a people pleaser… but come on! I should at least be able to feel free to share my struggles, thoughts, and insecurities, but nope, my heart says, “No way! You may get hurt. You may hurt someone. You may say the wrong thing. You may be judged.” I have struggled my whole life with trying to please those around me and I guess it has come to the point where I have a hard time even being honest with myself… I view every decision I make based on how others will perceive my actions.
I haven’t always done it all right. I haven’t always made the most wise of decisions. But you know what I have done, I have gotten to this point in my life with a long list of mistakes that I have learned from. I have a long list of people who love me and support me in whatever decisions I make in life. And most of all, I have a God who loves me unconditionally, has never left my side, and is always for me.
About a week ago, I felt rejection like I’d never felt before and mostly by my own doing. I heard a lot of honest truth from people I love and respect. My heart felt lost, broken, and insecure. In my brokenness, I wrote out this vow and have read it to myself every day since –
I vow today to be authentically me.
To be a bold believer.
To be a passionate and hard working woman.
To love who I love and not be ashamed about it.
To not feel judged for taking so many different paths to get where I’m going.
To follow my heart.
To follow my dreams.
To live big and love fiercely.
To not allow others opinions of me change who I am.
I am strong. I am beautiful.
I am brave. I am enough.
Do I always believe those last four adjectives about myself, no, but I vow every day to not allow Satan to tell me anything different. Life doesn’t always make sense. One day you love someone with all that you are and then wake up and realize you aren’t meant to be together forever. Then, the next day you’re back in love with someone new but then they realize they aren’t meant to be with you forever. You think you have your life planned out and even use the phrase “this is God’s calling for my life”, but then a few months later you realize your view of His calling and His view are totally different. It’s in these raw moments that I beat myself for putting myself 100% into everything and everyone and not being more cautious with my words or actions. But why would I beat myself up when God puts all that He is into me every day and I continually let Him down and He doesn’t hate me for it? Why wouldn’t I love someone with all my heart even though they may walk away when God loves me more than anyone ever will and yet I walk away from Him constantly?
If this summer is teaching me anything, it’s teaching me to be slow to speak and quick to love. I don’t have it all figured out and most days I’m not even sure where I will be the next day, who I will meet, or what challenges I may face. The only thing I know for certain at this point in my life is that God has created me for people and that in some capacity I will be surrounded by people for a living. Will it be overseas? Maybe one day! Will it be with Chick-fil-A? Possibly! I don’t know… and for right now, I am learning to trust in the waiting and not be too quick to try and figure it all out on my own when I don’t hear an answer right away. God told me to travel before I settle down. I took that as traveling the world, but right now it’s looking like He may have had a different plan for that and that’s ok. Learning to be content in the silence is hard for someone who usually sees silence as rejection. I saw this quote recently that has stuck with me –
“When we find ourselves in a holding pattern, it’s easy to ask,‘What was I doing wrong? Is God holding my past against me? What do I have to do to earn His favor?’ Rest assured, God never presses pause out of spite. Sometimes waiting has less to do with the strength of your faith and more to do the perfection of God’s timing. God makes us wait at times so we can glean valuable lessons. In the wait, He is preparing us for what He has already planned for us. Waiting isn’t wasting time; it’s training time.” – Unknown
It’s training time... Time for me to be even more aware of His presence in my life. Time to listen even more intently when I hear those gentle whispers. Time to glean all I can from the moments of silence and trust that in His perfect timing it will all make sense. Most days I feel like a failure when I crawl into bed, but on the days when my eyes are fixed on Jesus and ALL He has done for me and not on my own self disappointment, I go to bed with this eternal hope inside of me that gives me peace for the future. So, my fearless wanderers, I leave you with this, be authentically you in whatever capacity that looks like and be content in the silence. There might be more there than you could ever have imagined!
Have you seen the movie, “The Greatest Showman” yet? If not, you must see it! It quickly became one of my top favorite movies and here is why – music and vocals are amazing, cinematography is stunning, acting phenomenal, and the message… the message was relevant, challenging, and beautiful. The song “This is Me” was an immediate favorite! It was powerful and moving and made you want to get up and dance alongside everyone. This song will every so often pop into my head and remind me to be authentically ‘me’. To be true to who I am and what I stand for… the only problem is – who am I? and what do I stand for? These are two questions that have been with me and haunted me for the past seven years.
I grew up in a Bible believing family who practically lived at church because my dad was the worship pastor. All of my childhood I was surrounded by family and friends who were constantly pointing me back to Jesus. I moved from Washington to California when I was 10 and from California to Georgia when I was 12. Even through all of the physical change, my parents made sure to keep Christ the center of all we did. The first few years of college are when I began to seek a relationship with Jesus of my very own. I began to ask questions and break down theology that had been taught to me my whole life. But, even in all of this searching, I still knew exactly who I was and what I stood for … or so I thought.
In spring of 2011, I had just finished my third year of college and my mother had a minor stroke that put her in the hospital on Mother’s Day. It was the first time something of this gravity had happened in my family and it hit hard. Around this same time, my sister, who the whole family calls my ‘twin’ because we literally did everything together, began to seriously date her now husband. All of this ushered me into a season of life that felt very lonely and full of hardship. I would travel overseas alone for the first time only weeks after my mother’s stroke and I would work out of state that summer for the first time in my life. I would also meet someone that summer who would turn my entire world upside down. Up until this point, my life seemed predictable. My life seemed smooth sailing. Life gave me cards I not only wanted to play, but knew how to play. Now all of a sudden, life was dealing me cards I didn’t know what to do with and I wouldn’t know how to play until seven years later.
Over the last seven years, I have seen my parents’ marriage drastically change from the marriage I witnessed when I was little. I learned what co-dependency looks like through an extremely damaging relationship. I became addicted and learned that “just stopping” isn’t that easy. I looked for love and acceptance in jobs, relationships, accolades, and social media. I learned that I am really good at dealing with and serving people. I held down incredible jobs. I had opportunities I could only have dreamed of. I cried. I screamed. I loved. I laughed. I drew closer to Jesus, but I also turned my back on Him. I wanted to die. I wanted to live. I wanted to disappear, but I also so desperately wanted to be seen. In all of this, I have learned one thing - this life, it’s the only you get. Everything that happened over the last seven years could either be looked at as a waste of time and I could feel behind at life, or, I could view them as the most pivotal years in my spiritual growth. I could view them as one major test that somehow, by God’s grace alone, I was able to pass. This gets me so emotional. I shouldn’t be here today. No, I wasn’t in some terrible car wreck or have a terminal illness. I shouldn’t be here today because I am a sinner. I don’t deserve to have the opportunity to love others or to be loved by others. I am alive today, both physically and spiritually, because of Christ alone. I am able to share His great and amazing grace with everyone because He saved me. I nailed Him to a cross over 2,000 years ago and my sins caused God to look away from His Son while He died a criminal’s death. But, Jesus’ blood ran red so that my sins could be washed white. Jesus rose from the dead so that I could live free in Him alone. What an awesome God we serve!
As I look to the future now, I see Jesus and Him alone. When I look at those He has placed in my life, I see Him and all He is doing in their lives. And now, when I ask myself, “who am I?” I can honestly and whole-heartedly say, I am a sinner saved by grace that has the incredible opportunity to serve Him every single day! And when I ask myself, “what do I stand for?” it’s this – I stand for love so much greater than anything we can comprehend. I stand for becoming the least of these in order to serve them with all I have. I stand for Christ and becoming more like Him every day! I have a long way to go in this life, but for today I will say, ‘Thank You, Jesus!’. I cannot wait to see all He has for me in this coming year and with this world adventure. There are so many unknowns, but even on my darkest days, God has NEVER left my side and He won’t start now. Here is to truly living fearlessly in the arms of the only One who can save me. May I daily live in this truth and love others just as Jesus has so fiercely loved me.
Hello, Self. You are on the coast for the next few days. Soak it in. Take deep breaths. Relish in every moment. Take this time to listen and just be with your Heavenly Father. You have such an amazing journey ahead of you and it’s only achievable with God’s guidance. Don’t take His guiding hand and ever-present help for granted, instead, cling to it as your anchor. Document every emotion, every moment, and every revelation. God is up to something and you don’t want to miss it!
Today, I drove down to Brunswick, Georgia. The drive was perfection. The weather was blue skies and fluffy clouds and there were hardly any cars on the road. I arrived at my Airbnb around 3:30pm and met the owner’s friend Nikki who is staying with her from India. We sat and chatted for about an hour before I packed up my things and headed to the beach. I went to Jekyll Island first and about cried when I saw the ocean. There is something so powerful and yet so calming about the ocean. I sat for a moment on the first beach access point I came to, but then decided to drive further down the island to see what else I could find. I came across the drift wood beach and sat there for some time. I am much more of a rocky coast kind of girl and all of the drift wood and rocks were making my heart so happy. While I was walking, I passed this couple and the gentleman asked me if the beach was beautiful from the direction I had come. This question began a 15 minute conversation with this sweet couple and ended with the wife giving me a hug and them telling me they would be praying for me. As I walked away, I began to think about how much that little encounter made my day. I realized that people are the reason for everything I do. People are what give me fuel. People are my mission in life. I can’t wait to see what other encounters God has for me the rest of this week.
I am currently sitting in this quant little market on Jekyll Island. Last night….
OH! Side note- yesterday, when I was sitting on drift wood beach, I saw DOLPHINS!!!! They were playing in the waves right by the shore. It was magical! Ok, back to my story…
Last night as I was trying to dose off – and I say ‘trying’ because it wasn’t going so well – I was thinking through the events of the day and thinking about what I would do today and a thought struck me. I was created to create! I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so excited about getting up in the morning and shooting a time-lapse of the sunrise. There is so much beauty here and I kept thinking of ways I could capture it. In this mornings devotionals, the section for today was titled “Made to Create” – WHAT?! I love when God times things like that! God didn’t make all of His children creative, but if He did make you creative, you must do it! We will not feel fully whole in this life until we discipline ourselves to create. My creative skills are not in music like my father, or in art like my sister, but I do believe my creative skills are in photography and writing. Both bring me so much joy and I feel accomplished and successful when I am working on either skill. The devotional talked about how discipline is vital to creativity and that we need to work hard at making time to do what God created us to do.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful. Later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace to those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11
Ok, here is the next verse! I decided to read further and was amazed at what I found –
“Therefore strengthen your tired hands and weakened knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but healed instead.” – Hebrews 12:12-13
Wow! In the context of creativity, don’t let your talents and skills be dislocated from your body because you didn’t strengthen them or make a plan to cultivate them. God gave us gifts and talents to be USED. Don’t get stuck in a rut doing the same old, same old because not only will it crush your spirit, but it also may very well cause your skills and creativity to be dislocated from your body.
It’s now lunchtime! I’m at a restaurant on the island so that I can still soak in the salty ocean air while eating and getting out of the sun for a bit. It has been an absolutely beautiful day, but I have found that I do not sit still well at all! Oh, lunch is here!!
Well, lunch was yummy! Once I was done, I went back to drift wood beach for a bit. I love that beach! But if you know me at all, you know that I love things that have been dried and called beautiful – i.e. the many vases of dried roses I have! After the beach, I decided I had had enough sun for the day and headed back to my Airbnb. I took a quick shower, charged my phone (my camera for this trip), and then headed to St. Simons Island for some homemade ice cream. I have since eaten my chocolate oreo and mint chocolate chip ice cream and am now siting under a gigantic oak tree looking out over the ocean.
My mind is in a million places right now. This world adventure is going to be hard. It’s going to stretch my emotional limits, my physical limits, and my spiritual limits. I took this trip to see how I would do alone because it’s been some time since I traveled alone. I don’t find myself missing home, but I do find myself searching for a purpose. I’m listing to Bob Goff’s newest book entitled “Everybody Always” and this idea struck a major chord with me –
“Instead of saying you’re a missionary, why not just go somewhere to learn about your faith from the people there and be as helpful as you can be.”
I’ve been struggling with what to call this world adventure because I’m not going with a church group or a mission’s board. It’s just me… but isn’t that what Jesus disciples did? Didn’t they go out individually and spread the good news of Jesus love and sacrifice? I don’t want this trip to be used to share about me, but about all of the incredible people and places all over the world and create beautiful content that displays all God is doing in each of the countries I visit.
Good-morning from St. Simons Island! It is an incredibly beautiful day. The breeze is low and I can wear my fancy, floppy hat without it blowing away. I do have three layers of sunscreen on though because the sun is quite warm today. After breakfast this morning, I stopped by Morningstar Marina to admire the beautiful boats docked there. I walked slowly up and down each dock as the sail boats bobbed with the current of the water. I’ve always wanted to learn to sail. I talked with a gentleman who worked there, who is actually from Sydney, Australia! Anyway, he told me that that particular marina has one of the top rated sailing schools in the nation. You better believe that, before I left, I grabbed all the information I needed because one day I will actually learn to sail. Well, I’m going to go walk the coast for a bit and listen to ‘Everybody Always’.
“You may want ten green lights before you do the risky thing God has for you to do, but you only have eight. I once heard a friend say all opportunities come with expiration dates. If you don’t grasp the opportunity in front of you, it’s likely going to go away at some point. Here’s the deal: All those deep urgings you feel to step toward the beautiful, courageous thing you’re afraid to do – you probably won’t always have the chance. Now is the time. Your life, your experiences, and your faith are your green lights. Make your move.” – Bob Goff, “Everybody Always”
Yes. Thank You, Jesus! I don’t need all the green lights, I just need the calling you’ve put in my heart and the faith to continue taking the next step.
It’s always this point in my day, between 4-5pm, that I feel the least productive. I’m tired, zoned out, and sluggish. When I find myself in this state of mind, I also find myself scrolling aimlessly on social media. I used to be really bad about comparing myself with those I was following. One day I decided, I don’t have to follow people that don’t inspire me, so I didn’t. I went through the list of people I followed and only followed those who were doing good in the world, made me happy, or inspired me in some way. In doing this, I now have a feed full of encouraging posts which inspire me to live a more fulfilling life. I never want my life to be centered around how many followers I have or how many ‘likes’ I get. I want my life to be focused on the people God has placed in my life – those I’ve known 27 years and those I’ve only just met. If people choose to follow me, I pray that my posts will be an encouragement to them and inspire them to live a life more full of love and adventure.
It’s my last morning of my coastal escape. It’s weird, but I’ve been more anxious this morning than I have this whole trip. I got up to do another time lapse of the sunrise and it didn’t go quite as planned. The stress of the morning made me anxious about the video, which then made it hard for me to relax and enjoy the stunning sunrise. I felt like it was the last time I’d ever get to do a time lapse and it had to be perfect. But, you know what, there will be plenty of other sunrises. Even though none of us know when our last day on earth will be, we must live like it’s our last, but don’t live it stressing that it has to be perfect. Live present in the moment. Soak it all in. Most often our most perfect days are the ones we weren’t trying to make perfect. They were the ones where we were totally and completely present.
Today I leave the islands to head down to Florida to visit my childhood best friend and her precious family. My stay here has been wonderful and much needed, but for now, I must leave this beautiful sunrise and go check out of my Airbnb.
This trip was incredible, challenging, and enlightening. My biggest take away from the week came to a head when I went to a women’s conference in Florida with my dear friend, Emily. The conference spoke about how do we actually find our identity and confidence in the Lord alone. After the conference, Emily and I were chatting about it and everything from the week came together in one beautiful picture. I left for this coastal escape to find a purpose for my world adventure, but Jesus gave me something so much bigger. He reminded my heart for it’s purpose for life, not just this world adventure. He reminded me that I am a child of His and I was created to serve Him alone and love others like Jesus did. Every job I have ever had and this coming world adventure are not my purpose for being born; they are all amazing opportunities to live out the greater purpose God has given me. This may seem like a no-brainer to some of you, but this was life changing for me. God doesn’t want us to define our purpose in life by a job title or relationship status or financial accomplishment. He longs for each of us to receive Him into our lives, consider who He is and all He has done for us, draw near to Him through prayer and The Word, obey His every command, and then reflect His perfect glory and goodness in all we do on this earth. This truth and revelation gets me so excited about moving forward in life because it’s not about me, it’s all about HIM!
I can't believe I am actually starting this. I had all of these super compelling things to say, and now that I'm actually sitting down to write, I have nothing. There is so much on my heart that I want to share with you all so I will just start with the photo at the top of this page....
I LOVE dried roses, well any flower, but roses are my favorite to dry and keep. Behind the dried flowers is my map of the world. I love this photo because it captures so much of who I am. I am young, but not super young. I am adventurous, but I love tradition. I love finding the beauty in that which is past or used or, in this case, dried up. The roses represent my past. Parts of it were beautiful in its time, but parts of it cut like the thorns on the stems. I have had my moments of great joy and my moments of great regret, but all of it combined has lead to a well worn flower that is still so beautiful today. Today, my past may look dried up to some, but to me it is what made me who I am and though the thorns can still be seem, they don't cut like they once did. The map represents my future and my heart for all people. This particular map is a scratch off map! I love it because it not only shows me all the countries I've been to, but it also shows me how much more of the world there is to see! I get so excited when I look at this map. There is so much beauty, love, and creation to see and I can't wait to head out and start exploring.
As I move beyond the image illustrations, I begin to dig deeper into myself. I stated above that parts of my past have left scars. For so long, I have kept these scars a secret thinking they made me look weak, or wrong, or full of guilt and shame, but the older I become the more I see these scars as wounds that molded me into the woman I am today. I hear all the time, "Just be YOU!"... but if you don't even know who YOU is, how are you supposed to be it. I have grown up believing I had to fit a certain mold. I was taught to say the right things and always behave in a proper manner. And while these are not bad things to be taught, I never allowed myself to fully spread my wings. I wanted to experience my own journey and wether I flew or I fell, I wanted to at least try. When I finally did spread my wings for the first time, I fell hard. So hard that I was afraid to fly again. Several years would go by before I would spread my wings again, but this time I would actually soar for a short time. I didn't crash after this attempt; it was more of a calm landing. My time soaring through the air taught me that I can be my own person. I can listen to my own heart and decide what is best for me. I learned that I can be me. Truly me. Me, without letting anyone tell me I was right or I was wrong.
My time flying gave me courage I didn't know I had. It gave me joy like I'd never experienced. It showed me truly how I want to live the rest of my life. But as I sit here, back on the ground, preparing for another take off, I am reminded of how precious life is. That those amazing times of soaring through the sky will only happen if we choose to live fearlessly and love without limits. I can't wait to see where I head when I take off once again. I can't wait to see all I learn from this next flight. But until then, I will wait patiently on the ground and prepare myself for another grand adventure.
I hope you will wait with me so that when I do take off, you will be able to soar along with me through this journey called life!
Your Fearless Wanderer